Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Tin Bits - Tuesday, May 11th, 2010

  • Funny, when I wrote the article about Brian Cushing's drug test, I didn't think it would elicit much debate or discussion, but it did, so here's an update - Cushing tested positive for elevated levels of Human Chorionic Gonadotropin, or HCG, the same compound Manny Ramirez was suspended for 50 games last year for.  It is commonly used as a post-steroid fix, primarily to restore testicle-size.  I really couldn't make this stuff up - Cushing literally was going through a sex change (he does kind of look like a transexual now that I think of it)  Keep in mind, there really is no reason to take this stuff unless you are taking steroids or
    by growing breasts and reducing his male gonads.
    heavy into the tea-bagging scene.  Since HCG is found in seminal fluid, Adam Schefter of ESPN has suggested that Cushing could have ejaculated before taking the urine test - leading to a false positive.  This would of course imply that Cushing was jacking off in the doctors office right before the test.  Pardon the imagery of the transexual supplemental meathead freak wanking off during a medical appointment.  I could go so much further....but I won't.  Let's just say there's no way Cushing comes out of this with his head held high.  Well, maybe one of his heads....
  • The Dolphin vets returned to workouts today after a couple of weeks off.  The rookies will join them next Tuesday for the first of the OTAs, after checking into the facilities on Sunday.  It's unfortunate that the OTAs and mini-camps are not open to the public, though I understand why they are not - imagine the legal implications of someone in the stands getting hit in the eye by an errant Pat White throw...
  • The 'official' preseason schedule has been released:
                   Aug. 14 vs Tampa Bay Buccaneers, 7 p.m.
                   Aug. 21 at Jacksonville Jaguars, 7:30 p.m.
                   Aug. 27 vs Atlanta Falcons, 7 p.m.
                    Sept. 2 at Dallas Cowboys, 8 p.m.
  • It looks like Wes Welker really won't be ready to go on opening day.  Since the Dolphins don't play the Patriots until week 4, it may not have an effect on that game, but the Pats will likely start the season without their leading receiver and anything that could slow them down versus their 1st 3 opponents, the Bengals, Jets and Bills, could be beneficial to Miami in the long-run.
  • Now that the Dolphins have a #1 WR in Brandon Marshall, it's hard to remember all the names we've tried to improve our WR corps under the current regime.  But two of the more memorable guys are currently getting another shot in the NFL - Anthony Armstrong, one of the coolest, most grounded WRs out there, is currently in camp with the Redskins, while Brandon London, the braggart who couldn't catch a fly with a glue trap, is still bragging his way around the league claiming no one in the league works harder than him on his 'quest to be better than Jerry Rice' and is currently in camp with the Steelers.  You may recall London had 3 catches for 30 yards in 14 games as a Miami Dolphin and then spent more time in the VIP room than on the practice field in 2009 before being released.  Perhaps London should 'amend' his goals a little or realize that you have to get on a roster first, then get in the game, then perform when you get your chance.  Instead of looking at Jerry Rice as 'the guy you gotta beat', look to yourself and try to beat your own limitations first. 
  • Dolphins' running back, Kory Sheets, confirmed to me that he is going to be competing as kick returner this off-season, as they try to replace Ted Ginn.  Personally, I think Sheets is the best option - I read somewhere a couple of weeks ago that Sheets hasn't returned kicks before - whoever wrote that didn't watch any Purdue games where he returned 38 kicks and his lone punt return was for a TD.  Ultimately the only thing that keeps Patrick Cobbs above Sheets on the depth chart is his tackling ability on special teams and possibly his blocking ability - Sheets could make the push this year to unseat Cobbs.
 

90 comments:

  1. Tin, this Cushing deal is the kind of stuff that makes one wonder what was really going on at USC... It's not surprising Pete Carroll decided to jump to the NFL before the walls came tumbling down.

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  2. LMAO, Cushing is pregnant?!?!?!?!?!

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  3. Herd, if they give that stuff to women do they grow bigger boobs?

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  4. Oh sorry it's the roids that gave him the size Ds not the HGC... I guess putting it in my girlfriend's fruitloops would be a bad idea.

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  5. We Have PlaymakersMay 11, 2010 at 9:41 AM

    Tin,

    You're absolutely right.  You can't make this stuff up.

    As for Welker, I will be shocked if he is able to play by Week 4.  The guy just had surgery in February on his rotator cuff & this is on top of a torn ACL & a ton MCL???  I know he's a tough guy & he's going to do everything he can to get on the field but it's going to be a long way back (if ever) to his Pro-Bowl form.  It took Camarillo about 10 games into last season to be at full strength after his torn ACL & he's no cissy either.

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  6. <span>"...transexual supplemental meathead freak wanking off during a medical appointment."</span>

    LMFAO! 

    THWAP-THWAP-THWAP...Sir, some of our patients need to use-AAAAARRRRRHHHHH...THWAP-THWAP-THWAP...AAAARRRRHHH...Sir,...SIR!

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  7. We Have PlaymakersMay 11, 2010 at 9:45 AM

    BTW--Does anyone else think that winding up with shrunken testacles is enough punishment for taking PED's???  And then on top of that he gets suspended for four games & has to give up his ROY award???  LOL!!!

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  8. PEDs + HGH + HCG + Steroids = $$$$$  It's the new math..

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  9. Tim The EnchanterMay 11, 2010 at 9:58 AM

    LOL @ Tin on Cushing

    It doesn't matter if Welker can't go, they'll just throw it to Julian Edleman and he'll put up the same numbers.

    As for Cobbs, I think Hilliard is another obstacle in the way of him making the team. But if Cobbs can prove to be back at 100% (I doubt it), he might make it because he's a Sparano favorite.

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  10. PEDs + HGH + HCG + Steroids = $$$$.  It's the new math.

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  11. Patrick:
    I don't think you want your girlfriend with elevated hCG levels.

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  12. It either means her testicles will get bigger or she's been 'working out' with Brian Cushing...

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  13. Sheets came from the 49ers. They were mad we took him KSWOF. Kory Sheey Was Our Future. They said he was good RB/returner but he needed to work on his blocking

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  14. yeah it sounds bad, but you can't feel sorry for someone who did it to themselves.  I've never been in the same room with steroids but I've known since I was about 9 years old that it shrank your testicles - so I'm sure Cushing knew at age 22 having been in and around the gym his whole life. 

    Supplier: "You sure you want to take this stuff, Brian, you do know it will shrink your balls and possibly give you heart problems and maybe even kill you? "

    Cushing:  "[insert sound of a T-rex scream here]"

    Supplier: "OK! OK! HERE YOU GO!  AAAAGGGHHH!"

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  15. No, it might mean that Patrick will have the opportunity to drink from a sippy cup again.  :)

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  16. Sippy cups in the doghouse... It gets hot out there in the summer!

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  17. Living in SF, i was able to watch most of the 49ners preseason games last year and i was really impressed with Sheets. I couldn't beleive that they tried to stash him on the practice squand and, yes, they were REALLY pissed that the Dolphins poached him. The Miami media doesn't talk about Sheets much but he might surprise people in 2010. He is an instinctive runner who can bust outside but is also not afraid to run between the tackles and , as Tin has pointed out, can return kicks and punts.

    And he is a funny tweeter...

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  18. That one TD he had vs Dallas shows he can run inside - i think he dragged 3
    Cowboy into the end zone.

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  19. Tim The EnchanterMay 11, 2010 at 12:11 PM

    We can nickname him EZ Wider or Little Bambu.  8-)

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  20. Tin, I don't think enough emphasis is given to the Tony Sparano quote, "We don't necessarily want the best 53, we want the right 53." Players like Cobbs can find a place on his team while players like Jason Taylor are shown the door. From a talent standpoint it makes little sense but from a team chemistry standpoint Cobbs is one of those players who buys completely in and does everything asked to make the football team. A guy like Sheets may not show that level of commitment and that is what leaves him behind Cobbs on the depth chart.

    I look at Armando defending his foolish post today and think about the FS position. A little homework would have told him that Ronaldo Hill was playing SS for Denver the same as Gibril Wilson was playing SS for Oakland. Bringing in Wilson in the first place probably does not make sense but letting him go does because he is not one of the right 53. Kory Sheets will have convince people that he belongs and is willing to do the little things that keep players on the bottom of the roster, meaning special teams.

    I think the real reason Jason Taylor was not signed was because he was not buying in fully and there was an attitude that came along with that. The same can be said for Joey Porter though his iniquities were much more apparent. Those types of situations can split a locker room, so sometimes the best players may not be the right players.

    And Herd, I had these <span>pomegranate margaritas last night that were killer!</span>

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  21. HA!! "Little Bamboo". That is classic. I vote for that one.

    Based on what i have read from his twitter account, i think that it would fit.

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  22. Tim The EnchanterMay 11, 2010 at 12:30 PM

    Oh that's right you like foo foo drinks. LOL

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  23. Oops, "Bambu". Even better.

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  24. Patrick, i think you are right about JT, he hadn't completely bought into the plan that Sparano had for him. Not sure that the role of mentor was what he had in mind for his last two years. Rex Ryan said, "you are going to be THE MAN" and that was all JT needed to hear. That and Ryan's glittery Super Bowl talk. We shall see how that one works out.

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  25. I think it's a bit unfair to say Sheets 'may not show that level of commitment'.  Cobbs was already an established member of the team for years before Sheets came along late last season.  Bottom line, if Sheets is 100% and he performs up to the task and Cobbs is at 75%, then Sheets will beat him out.  That's not to say that Cobbs won't come back in week 5 and get another shot, but the 53 on opening day has to be ready to go on opening day.  As long as Sheets can get the playbook down and shows consistency, I think he has more upside than Hilliard, and health is the factor with Cobbs - we've yet to see if he's still got that speed from before the injury.

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  26. I don't get the reference...

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  27. Shush Bungle!!! Actually I mostly drink Bud light but there are those days where a good 12 year old works and others where something a little fru fru is called for.  Flexibility, it's all about flexibility, discerning the situation and going with it!

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  28. a 12 year old Bud light?  ewww

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  29. I agree Tin, I was just throwing that out there because we know Sparano really likes Cobbs so unseating him may be harder than some other player on the bottom of the roster.

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  30. Tim The EnchanterMay 11, 2010 at 1:06 PM

    His last name is Sheets.

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  31. Tim The EnchanterMay 11, 2010 at 1:07 PM

    A good 12 year old?  :-E

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  32. If you are talking scotch here, I just have to say WTF??? I can't imagine when the stuff was invented, someone taking a drink and saying, 'Dayum, that's some good stuff there, why don't we bottle it and sell it to people?'  I'll never understand that one.

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  33. Tim The EnchanterMay 11, 2010 at 1:19 PM

    So the NFL knew Cushing failed a drug test back in September, doesn't suspend him, lets him play all year, he wins DROY and now they want to take it away? So do all his tackles, sacks and INTs not count now? Is this the NFL or MLB?

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  34. Wow, now I really don't get it....

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  35. We Have PlaymakersMay 11, 2010 at 1:33 PM

    LOL @ Tim!!!!  No Goodell said to put asterisks next to the numbers until his testicles come back to a somewhat normal size.

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  36. Tim The EnchanterMay 11, 2010 at 1:34 PM

    LOL, I agree.

    I think people should be real careful when saying things like 'but there are those days a good 12 year old works'.

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  37. Is this a delayed comment from yesterday?  lol

    They waited until the appeal process was over before suspending him, which makes sense, but the length of time in between seems ridiculous.

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  38. We Have PlaymakersMay 11, 2010 at 1:38 PM

    Tinshaker,

    Don't tell Tim that.  He 's on a roll....

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  39. We Have PlaymakersMay 11, 2010 at 1:39 PM

    Tinshaker,

    Don't worry you didn't miss much...Sheets of paper.

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  40. Tim The EnchanterMay 11, 2010 at 1:46 PM

    Rolling papers are called sheets.

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  41. damn, a blog/comments about tea bagging and drinking and every one thinks i am the pervert/nut case

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  42. Tim The EnchanterMay 11, 2010 at 1:50 PM

    That's what I'm saying. The appeal can't last the entire season. If a player is not allowed to perform using PEDs than anything he does in a game isn't relevant. That's my issue with it. It's one way or the other. They can't play if there are signs of PEDs or they can.

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  43. Tim The EnchanterMay 11, 2010 at 1:52 PM

    So where is NJ Phin Fan? He said he'll be coming here more often and I haven't seen him since.

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  44. What does that have to do with Bamboo? You're really not good at explaining
    things, you know...

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  45. I didn't say anything about drinking....did I?

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  46. Tim The EnchanterMay 11, 2010 at 2:17 PM

    Bambu is a brand of papers. Don't tell me you've never seen these.

    http://www.roll-ups.co.uk/ishop/879/shopscr4348.html

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  47. no you didnt, thus the reason i added '/comments'

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  48. Tim The EnchanterMay 11, 2010 at 2:18 PM

    So do you drink while tea bagging, or do you read?

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  49. banana flavoured rolling papers?  who's fru-fru now?

    no, of course I've never heard of these, I was too busy hearing about things like Darwinism instead.  Why would I have seen these?  lol

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  50. I would think both would be difficult.... *DONT_KNOW*

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  51. maybe he sank into the swamp that is jersey.... O:-)

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  52. Tim The EnchanterMay 11, 2010 at 3:49 PM

    LOL, that was just the image I found. They have plain papers too. By the way I don't like banana flavored, I prefer strawberry. LOL

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  53. Tim The EnchanterMay 11, 2010 at 3:50 PM

    *sigh*  :(

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  54. Tim The EnchanterMay 11, 2010 at 3:57 PM

    If you were drinking a foo foo drink with a straw you could probably do it.  8-)

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  55. I think the question you want to ask is "where is Red Dog?"

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  56. Tim The EnchanterMay 11, 2010 at 4:06 PM

    Hello Red Dog, so what do you think of tea bagging and what do you do while tea bagging? LOL 

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  57. You mean the rallies?

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  58. <span>""" primarily to restore testicle-size"""</span>
    <span></span>
    <span></span>
    <span>REALLLLLLY,are you fricken kid'n me, why would anyone put the jewels in harms way??</span>
    <span></span>
    <span>PLEASSSSEEE tell me they "initially" grow rather than shrink, either-wayyy OUUUCCCCHHHH!!!</span>
    <span></span>
    <span>It's not nice to fool w' Mother Nature!!!</span>
    <span></span>
    <span></span>

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  59. OKayyyy, I read beyond my initial post's quote...

    SHRINKING your boy's to be a better football player is goin wayyyyyyyy tooooooooo farrrrrrrrrrrr,
    and beyond their (perhaps never to be performed again) call of duty!!
    AGAIN,  OUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHH,(HAPPY THOUGHTS,HAPPY THOUGHTS,HAPPY THOUGHTS)!!

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  60.  ""I guess putting it in my girlfriend's fruitloops would be a bad idea.""   LMAO!!!

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  61. You gotta have papels to take-on Darwinism 8-) !!!  GIGGITTY GOOOO

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  62. I was seduced by a good 12 yr old when I was 14,
    (believe-it or not,she had already been around the block several times),and knew her stuff!!

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  63. LMAOROTF >:o !!!

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  64. ...you know for sure that we're half way between the draft and OTAs when tin's fins turns to tea bagging, nj swamplands, and banana flavored rolling papers. :-P

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  65. Can i just say that the conversation between Tin and Tim regarding the meaning of Bambu was hilarious. Or should i say high-larious.

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  66. Tin, I can't believe you never heard the Cheech and Chong album, "Big Bambu." The album had a huge rolling paper in between the covers. Absolute classic... And yes, it was many years ago, but we did find the approriate use for that paper...

    Jesus guys, even LT didn't go after a 12 year old!!! Scotch, we're talking about scotch!

    Now here's an interesting question and be honest with yourself, would you do steriods for 10 million dollars? Knowing the ramifications, knowing your balls are going to shrink, but also knowing you can stop doing them once the money is in the bank? I'm glad I never had to make that decision because I think I would have taken the money.

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  67. Does anyone know when the rookies and undrafted players have to be signed by?

    On a side note, I had no idea what they were talking about either, Tin. Maybe before my time...

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  68. without any hesitation i would.  10million buckaroos.  hell yeah, and with the 10million dollars i dont think it would be to hard to find women who are found of small huevos

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  69. They certainly could be found to be fond for 10 million. I would bet you could assemble a whole harem of NLCLs!!!

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  70. for 10 mil, i will have a team of NLC's, NC's and for some variety a team of Clothed cheerleaders (cc's)

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  71. <span>But aren't CC costumes great fun to dress up your current blow up versions!</span>

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  72. Ok, since you have gone down this path, would you take something, knowing it would irreversibly take away all function and ability, if you would make 10 mil? 

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  73. Tim The EnchanterMay 12, 2010 at 9:14 AM

    Uhhh... that would be a big NO!

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  74. well, what would be the purpose of taking it if you cant perform afterwards.

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  75. No, I like that function too much... If it was something like losing the hearing in my left ear, I could give that up, but what good would it be to have 10 mil if you couldn't have fun with NLCs?

    So even if Cushing takes this HCG stuff, does that mean because of the roids, his balls will never function properly again?

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  76. I was just asking the question---a 'where would you draw the line' kind of thing.

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  77. You think about the 10 mil and it seems like life would be wonderful, but the truth is most of these lottery winners end up destitute because they didn't earn the money and therefore they don't appreciate it or know how to handle it.

    But I have to admit, I would love the chance to see if I could handle being a multimillionaire... I would probably end up dead, but I would have a hell-of-a-time getting there!

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  78. herd,

    ok, since you asked, where is your line?

    and in all honesty, i dont have a line, i am not giving up any functions for 10mil

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  79. ufcane, they have to be signed by the first game or else they can't play -
    there is no deadline though it is generally good practice to get them signed
    before training camp begins. Last year Crabtree didn't sign until during
    the regular season.

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  80. No holdouts!
    These guys should all be in camp by the opening day or the wrath of the Tuna will be unleashed!
    LOL

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  81. I don't have a line, 10 mil isn't what it used to be, money doesn't guarantee happiness and I wouldn't give up anything!  I think that about covers it. ;)

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  82. Tim The EnchanterMay 12, 2010 at 10:35 AM

    Isn't there a contradiction in there? They have to sign by the first game or they cant play, but Crabtree signed during the regular season and he played.  :-E

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  83. sooooooooooooooo, you are saying you will just do it for free.  :-D

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  84. No, you have to be signed to play. I didn't mean you had to sign before
    game 1 to play in game 9. I meant you don't have to sign at all until the
    season in order to play.

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  85. Nooooooo, but get this, I was getting ready to post that @ about 1 and the power went out here!  Probably doesn't mean anything!  lol 

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  86. damn, just like a woman, wont do it for free, but there is no price. confusing confusing confusing.



    so, are you telling us your pc sucked up all the power in the office

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  87. lol, no more like a BIG lightning bolt!!!!

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  88. wow, such shocking news

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