The AFC East (thank heavens we're not those other guys!)

I've never been even remotely interested in the New England Patriots, or the New York Jets. The Indianapolis Colts were out of the Division for TWO whole years before I even noticed the NFL had re-structured the league. In the early 90's, when I first became exposed to the Dolphins (and American football), the only team you paid attention to with any sense of anxiety or interest were the Buffalo Bills. They WERE the AFC East in those days, winning 6 Division Championships in an 8 year span (Miami won the other two) from 1988 thru 1995. The newspaper used to love coming up with clever articles like, 'Who would win in a fight, a Buffalo or a Dolphin'. It was also at this time that suddenly every Buffalo fan in the world exposed their lack of knowledge of Biology and Natural Science. It is single-handedly because of Buffalo fans from this era that people to this day refer to the Dolphins as 'FISH".

The AFC East was formed in 1970, and since then each team has won the division at least twice. That's right, Jet fans. In 39 years, you have only won your Division TWICE. And it took you, get this, TWENTY-NINE years to win it finally in 1998. This coincidentally was a direct result of Bill Parcells coming in the previous year and transforming another one win team into a division winner. It took him two years and complete control in New York. It took him one year and a supporting cast here in Miami.

In its 39 years, the AFC East has lifted its Championship skirt 14 times for Miami, 10 for New England, 7 for Buffalo, 6 times for Baltimore/Indy, and has let New York have a pity **** twice.

But one thing the Jets have always brought to the table, if not wins, is a brash, cocky attitude and a speak-first mentality. It's sort of a running joke these days how many times a Jets player has 'guaranteed' something. Must be something in the water up there.

The Patriots have taken a different approach. Let the play do the talking (and back up the play with a few cards up the sleeves).

The Bills have slid perpetually into darkness in the last ten years. Sure, they show up to play, but between player-arrests, the Owner trying to move the team to Antarctica, and T.O., the team seems forever stuck in a rut caused by the pain of their Super Bowl losses. I can't blame them. If the Dolphins had just 3 shots at the Super Bowl in the history of the big game, had those 3 opportunites in 4 years, and lost all three, I would be the first person lining up at the methodone clinic. Although, at least Miami has girls in bikinis. Buffalo has old ladies in parkas.

I bring all this up because lately the 3 'other' AFC East teams have had rather loose lips and have been letting everyone know either they're not ready (Patriots), they're better than everyone else (Jets) or they are trying to end up in prison because it might be nicer than Ralph Wilson Stadium (talk about a douche-bag, naming your stadium after yourself - get ready for the 2010 Stephen Ross Stadium.)

Some examples:



BTW, Wilfork, you look more like a professional steak-eater than a football player in this video.

"The defense is oozing confidence. Maybe it's because it's facing the Jets' offense every day (ouch!), but there's a definite swagger. S Kerry Rhodes expressed the confidence the other day on his Twitter account, writing, "We will be the best defense in the league this year. I feel for the offenses we're gonna face.

He isn't alone. I asked LB Calvin Pace about Rhodes' statement, and Pace said of the Jets' defense, "I don't think you'll find a better team on paper." ~ Rich Cimini, NY Daily News

And I'd love to post something from the Bills but the last entry from Bills camp was from May 28th - a full week ago and it was about starting CB Terrence McGee blowing out his knee while covering T.O. The only other news was that T.O. was house shopping. Even the Sports writers up there have given up.

The truth of the matter is, it's not always easy being a Miami Dolphin, losing out on the lime-light because you're less suicidal than Buffalo, less egotistical than New York, and (sigh) just not New England, who even get more press coverage when they're taking a nap.

But some things I have noticed after years of following the Dolphins:

1. We have the best weather in the AFC East.
2. We've won more games, and division championships than anyone else in the AFC East.
3. An average game ticket for the Dolphins is exactly HALF the price of an average Patriots ticket.
4. (a-hem) hottest female fans in the AFC East.
5. Anytime we have a really crappy QB, we dump him immediately, saving fans from the frustration of having to see his face for years.
6. Despite the Jets fans theory that the Dolphins suck, Dolphins are incapable of actually physically sucking whereas a Jet engine, at it's very core function, is all about SUCKING in one end and THRUSTING out another. See diagram below...